MomDonalds

Mom: Welcome to MomDonalds can I take your order please?
Baby: Boobs!
Mom: Would you like the supersized?
Baby: Extra supersized!!

The fact that babies have to eat almost every 3 hours is probably the worst thing about being a mom. I'm not sure about every other mom out there, but I think breastfeeing and pumping are the pits.

Now, I have to say, I wanted to breastfeed because I knew the benefits it would have on the baby. Something about the promise of a super high IQ and less likelihood of becoming a serial killer, etc, etc. So obviously, breastfeeding was the right choice for us, but boy, no one told me what it would be like. No one said, "Oh, by the way Stephanie, breastfeeding for the first week is going to feel like someone attached jumper cables to your nipples and is repeatedly trying to shock you!" No. Nothing. A heads up would have been nice. Instead, we suffered through the first week and it got better.

Well. Kinda. It got better until I started feeling like a cow. Feeding every 2.5 hours and then pumping afterward because everyone warned me I had to build up a "supply." (Funny how they warned me to build a supply but not about jumper cable nipples) A "supply," I've come to find out, is bullshit. Unless you plan on going back to work 2 weeks after your baby is born, or you plan on going on vacation and leaving your baby at home right after giving birth (I wish), then screw the supply. Turns out, breast milk only last 3 months in the freezer and chances are the compilation of breast milk you pump at 3 weeks is different than what your baby needs at 2 months. Woof. So I stopped pumping as often and things were easier.

No they weren't. Then because of all of the pumping and feeding I'd been doing and stopping pumping, my supply dropped. Not just dropped like a little bit. We're talking dropped like I was no longer making a enough to feed the bean.

Needless to say, after making it a little over 4 months, I think I'm ready to stop this rodeo that is breastfeeding. Moms, don't be intimidated by those other moms that tell you they love breastfeeding because of the bonding and cuddling time with their baby. Those moms are crazy. Breastfeeding sucks.

Multiple kids

Where, when, how, and why do people have multiple children? I went to mommy workout class this morning ( exercising at the mall while the baby is in the stroller ) and these two women were talking about how crazy life is with their two and three children. Why do people do it?

My theory? They say, "Screw it we can't just have one, so let's have another and get it over with." Am I right?

I HATED being pregnant and could never imagine going through THAT again. I had it easy, too. I didn't work for most of my pregnancy. I didn't have any morning sickness and I gained only 17 pounds. BUT not being
able to drink beer, eat sushi, and run after I was about 20 weeks was the equivalent of death for me. Not to mention the hormones. Don't even get me started on the hormones. Tom had to put up with a real circus some days.

Then, the first 6 weeks infancy? Why ever do that again!? Up all night, up all day, feeling like a cow, and BREAST PUMPS?! Ugh. Why?

4 months out I'm still baffled as to why people choose to have another or even 3 or more? Was one not expensive enough? Did he not take enough of your time and energy? Oh I get it...maybe you didn't get peed on enough?

Don't get me wrong. The babe is the best and most cutesy thing ever..see...






Told ya. But why have more?

Henrys sibling will be a turtle.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Mommy Group

Yesterday and Today I went to Mommy Group. Mommy group on Mondays is sitting around chatting, and on Tuesdays we go walking at the mall.

Let me tell you. I never pinned myself as a mommy group person. I kinda thought baby and I would hang out all day together. We would watch Oprah, I'd strap him to my chest and do housework, we'd go to the grocery store and plan delicious meals.

Wrong.

Baby wants to cry though Oprah, fall asleep as soon as I strap him to me (which, if he's been sleeping half the day, will only cause him to stay up later), and even if we do make it to the grocery store, I can't put baby down for more than 10 minutes to make dinner. 

At 10 weeks old, baby and I were in TJMaxx when I ran into a woman who changed mine and baby's worlds. She invited us to mommy group.

Mommy group is great because we can chat about all of the things that our partners and non-kiddo friends don't want to hear about. We can chat about breast pumps, nipple shields, and epidurals.

I never thought I would be thrilled by a discussion about swaddling, but basically anything that promises at least 5 minutes of extra shut-eye is a holy topic.